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 Newt The Brave (DONE)

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Newt

Newt


Posts : 3
Join date : 2015-04-24
Age : 23

Newt The Brave (DONE) Empty
PostSubject: Newt The Brave (DONE)   Newt The Brave (DONE) EmptyThu May 07, 2015 4:35 pm

Name:  Newt

Age: 3 years old

Requested Rank:Cardinal

Element: Earth

Power: Geo-Healing & Terrakinesis

Photo:

Image 1:

Image 2:

Personality: Newt is a gentle wolf with a kind heart, who wouldn't intentionally hurt a creature unless it was attacking his packmates. He is very sensitive to how others feel towards him, and is the fight rather than submit. He is not at all shy and will do everything in his power to make new friends and maintain order. He will always help a wolf in need. It is not an easy feat to gain his trust, but once you do he shall be forever loyal. Newt still hurts on the inside from all the past things done, has horrible nightmares, deep down inside he is broken, but no one would suspect a thing because he hides it with a smile and a happy attitude. He has a dark past that she will do anything to hide, even the most gruesome things.

Likes and Dislikes:
Likes: Swimming, Meeting New wolves, Warm places, and learning new things

Dislikes: Death, Wolf's Blood, an Snobby Wolves

History: Three years ago in a small den on the west side of a mountain, Newt was born along with a sister. From day of birth he was always a healthy little pup that loved to play around and stay active. The small pup tended to stay outside wandering around and trying to discover something new every day, whether it was how fish breathe underwater or to how a small bird learns to fly by being ran off the edge of a tree limb. The small brute tended to get into tons of trouble because of his curiosity, it sometimes even led to deadly situations to wear he would almost get hurt or killed. As a puppy he was always cheerful and happy and never had any concept of death or pain at the time as everyone would avoid the subject when he would ask a question about it. As a pup he would try to hang out mostly around his mother as she was the lead Cardinal of the pack, this gave him many chances to make new friends and bond with the others. Newt still didn't know what rank he wanted to take up as a kid many times he thought a hunter or maybe a guardian but after seeing how many friends he had made from his mothers job, he decided he wanted to be a Cardinal out of all of the other ranks within his pack.

Newt grew over a few years gaining new looks and a lot of attention from the females in his pack, the brute honestly didn't like that girls were throwing themselves at him so for some of his teenage years he just ignored it and kept his head held high. It started to seem as if the days grew longer and that everything was changing, no one really had done anything around since the brute had grown. The once cheerful yippy pack that was always on a move grew dull and lifeless in a matter of years scaring him quiet a lot. The dark days came that's when Newt realized how sick and twisted this whole world was after attempting to escape a pack ambush, as a pack of rouges invaded the territory, his pack not having many warriors to fight due to previous incidents he prefers not to  talk about. They were all forced to flee but within the process he hurt is back hind leg in the process of doing so. The brute gained a nasty reward from all of that, a limp for the rest of his life.

Another year passed and the male decided instead of traveling farther west that he would go toward the North to discover what secrets it holds. The journey took around three to four weeks with his bad leg. Despite everything that had happened to him, boy did he have amazing stories to tell and would spread them to anyone who came by as a friend instead of an enemy. The brute had trudged through miles and miles of snow throughout his journey facing many other such s foxes, bears, and sometimes other pack of wolves. Deciding it was time to stop lugging around with nothing to do, he set out in search of a new pack not knowing where his paws would take him.


Last edited by Newt on Mon May 18, 2015 1:43 am; edited 4 times in total
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Oracle Fiametta

Oracle Fiametta


Posts : 44
Join date : 2014-06-08
Age : 24

Newt The Brave (DONE) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Newt The Brave (DONE)   Newt The Brave (DONE) EmptyThu May 07, 2015 7:05 pm

Hi, Newt. Just a few things that should be changed before you are accepted:

  • So in your history, you say that he wants to be like his mom, a caretaker, so why all of a sudden does he want to be a Cardinal? You need to explain why this happened, why he no longer wanted to be a caretaker, or in our case, a shaman.


  • Along with this, if Newt is a shy wolf, he won't be able to do his job as a Cardinal well. Cardinals must be able to set things straight within the pack.


  • Also, he cannot yet have a limp for the rest of his life, however, there could be an injury that healed over, perhaps, and later, it gave him a limp once you are able to purchase it at the shop.


  • Some minor things are that we are wolves, not dogs. There is a difference as we are not pets (said in his personality). Plus, we are also not people, again, wolves (said in Likes and Dislikes).


  • Another thing, could you try to write a little more on why he left? It's very vague.


~Fia
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Newt

Newt


Posts : 3
Join date : 2015-04-24
Age : 23

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PostSubject: Re: Newt The Brave (DONE)   Newt The Brave (DONE) EmptyThu May 07, 2015 7:27 pm

My apologies I was in quiet a rush when I made my biography so I pulled it from my site since he is the same character on there but anyways Fixed everything listed here, once I get enough orbs I shall go and purchase his limp since it is quiet big within his history but until then I just left it in his bio and will not use it in RP until I purchase it!
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Oracle Tundra




Posts : 7
Join date : 2015-04-19

Newt The Brave (DONE) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Newt The Brave (DONE)   Newt The Brave (DONE) EmptySat May 16, 2015 9:56 pm

This is Fiametta. Sorry for this rewrite, but Oracle Aria would like to overview your profile before your acceptance. She will tell someone to post for her or will post herself whether you are accepted or not. 


Again, sorry.


~Fia


Last edited by Oracle Fiametta on Sun May 17, 2015 10:08 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : REWRITE)
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